How do people share responsibility?

Responsibility, whether at work or in personal relationships is always split the same way: 100% on one side and 100% on the other. When you’re working toward a goal together, it’s not about shifting the responsibility onto someone else. It’s about agreeing on how to build a system that will help you reach that goal.

The moment someone says, “I’m 99% responsible,” they’re already starting to give up control over the outcome. And if things don’t go well, it’s easy to just blame the other person. That’s how you slip into a victim mindset. And once you’re there, it’s hard to learn or figure out how to actually get things done.

Focus on the system, not on who’s to blame

— Okay, but if I’m not blaming anyone and taking full responsibility, how am I supposed to get things done? I can’t do everything by myself.

When you discussed the task as a team, you were actually building a system together, figuring out how you’d work to reach the goal. So if the result doesn’t happen, the only thing worth focusing on is how to improve that system. What needs fixing to make it work? The key question isn’t “Who’s to blame?” but “How do we improve the system to get the result?”

In all of this, we’re assuming the people you work or build relationships with actually want to get things done. But if they don’t, even then, it’s on you. You’re the one who chose to work with them. That’s 100% your responsibility. And chances are, there’s something in it for you, some reason you picked that person or keep acting in a way that stops you from getting the result.

When I started Biz-cen.ru, I was responsible for pretty much everything. And when the first team members joined, I was sure they’d mess things up, make mistakes, miss the mark, maybe even ruin our chances. But the truth is, that mistrust wasn’t about protecting the business. It came from my need to control everything and feel important. Whenever someone on the team got something wrong, I’d jump in and tell them they were doing it wrong. But people don’t like feeling blamed and pretty quickly, our conversations would turn into blame-and-defend mode.

It took me a while, but I finally realized there’s no point in blaming anyone. What actually helps is getting the team together and figuring out how to improve the system so we can do better tomorrow than we did today. That simple shift really worked. First, it made it clear who actually fits the team and shares our values. And second, people started to feel like they mattered, because they had the power to make a difference. When you give people space to make decisions, you give them a chance to show what they care about.

How do you get things done?

People differ in how they solve problems. And there are two key traits that define your approach: first, taking responsibility; second, the ability to build systems. That means setting up parallel processes that not only help you solve the problem faster but also keep it from coming back in the same way later.

Let’s use a simple example: you’re in a village and your cousin’s house catches fire while he’s away. What you do next shows a lot about how you deal with problems and if this were at work, it would say a lot about your professionalism. There are five levels of how you can handle a situation like this.

Level one. You see the house on fire and just start running around yelling, “Ahhh! Fire! We need to do something!”

Level two. You grab a couple of buckets, run to the pond and start hauling water back and forth, hoping you can put out the fire.

Level three. You call Nick and Mike from the next house over. You tell them what to bring, where the pond is and what they need to do.

Level four. You tell your younger son to run and call everyone from the neighboring houses. Once they show up, you organize a bucket line from the pond to the burning house. Fire’s out.

Level five. Same as level four, but you also figure out the fire started because of old wiring. You call an electrician to fix it and while they’re there, you ask him ground the roof antennas too.

At level five, you took full responsibility for getting results. But you didn’t do it all alone, you got others involved and set up parallel processes that kept things moving without needing your constant attention. And in the end, you made sure the same problem wouldn’t happen again. What level of fire-fighting skills do you want the people on your team to have?

Takeaways:

1. Responsibility is split like this: 100% on you and 100% on the other side;
2. Don’t look for someone to blame, build systems that work better tomorrow than they did today;
3. To solve problems at level five: set up parallel processes and build systems that keep the problem from coming back.