![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/govorit@2x.jpg\")
\n<\/div>\nM. himself is a well-known actor, both in theater and on screen. He does solo monologue shows, just him on stage for two hours, holding the audience’s attention the whole time. Old-school craft.<\/p>\n
I enrolled because I wanted to level up my communication. There were 22 in-person sessions twice a week. Each class lasted an hour and a half, in a small group of five.<\/p>\n
So, how to speak to be understood?<\/h2>\n
The main point of the course – speak clearly. Like this – imagine you walk into a liquor store and ask for a specific bottle of wine. That’s it. That’s the level of clarity you want everywhere: you have a goal, you say what you need and your words just do the job – clean and easy.<\/p>\n
Don’t expect people to figure out what you mean. That’s your job. It’s your responsibility to speak in a way that makes sense to the person listening.
\nSpeech is the number one human tool.<\/p>\n
But before you can master it, you have to notice it.<\/p>\n
Most of the time, speech is just something we run on autopilot. To control it, you need full awareness, like really understanding the machine you’re operating.<\/p>\n
The two biggest enemies of good speech are autopilot and speed.<\/b><\/p>\n
Just because we hear someone speak doesn’t mean we understand them.<\/p>\n
Real understanding means thinking about what you’re hearing and relating it to yourself.<\/b><\/p>\n
And for that connection to happen, the speaker needs to actually have something to say. We’ve all seen it when someone starts talking, trying to come up with an idea as they go and you have no clue what they mean. That’s what happens when you talk before you’ve even figured out your own point. That’s where the pause comes in. That’s your moment to form an idea.<\/p>\n
When someone’s talking to you, look at them. Don’t turn away or close your eyes just to “focus” on their words. People don’t speak with just their voice.
\nExample: imagine you urgently need a Sapsan ticket from St. Petersburg to Moscow. Your phone’s dead, the app’s useless, 5 minutes left before sales close. You negotiate with the people in line, squeeze your way to the counter. The ticket agent slowly types in your passport info, checks for seats. And then she says something.. At that moment, you’re laser-focused, eating her alive with your eyes.<\/p>\n
So if you’ve shown up somewhere and you’re spending your time there, then really listen, eyes included. Respect yourself and the person you’re talking to. If you decide to speak, show up for it fully.<\/b><\/p>\n
And when it’s your turn to speak, stop worrying about how you look. That’s the very moment you actually look alive.<\/p>\n
Why are pauses the most important part of speech?<\/h2>\n
Don’t waste your time memorizing every single word.<\/b> That’s not the goal. Your real job is to communicate meaning — to get your message across. And once you focus on that, the right words will come naturally.
\nA memorized script doesn’t help you communicate meaning. It just makes you sound like a robot. And when you’re stuck trying to remember exact phrases, you stop being present. Same goes for reading from a script. The goal becomes “don’t mess up” instead of “make them understand.”<\/p>\n
One of the exercises from the course is to learn to speak in one breath:
\n“To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
\nIn a pestilential prison, with a life‑long lock,
\nAwaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock
\nFrom a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block.”
\nThis verse should be spoken the way you move through a slalom, entering each turn smoothly.<\/p>\n
You don’t need to rush through the verse without stopping at the turns. If you’re speeding, it means your only goal is to get it over. But the real goal is to make sure the listener understands you. And it’s totally fine if you forget or replace a few words, as long as you understand your purpose, the listener will hear you.<\/p>\n
Always take a pause before you start reciting a verse. Remind yourself of the task – to communicate meaning. Then focus on the technique, but don’t lose sight of the goal. The pause is the most important part of speech. That’s the moment when you lock in on the purpose of your message. If you skip the pause, then what are you even saying?<\/b><\/p>\n
Your brain will want to go on autopilot and say things the way you always do – the easy way. You’ll take a breath where you feel like it, not where the thought naturally ends. But breathing should break up meaning, not just give you a break. Autopilot will also make you start talking before you’ve even figured out what you’re trying to say.<\/p>\n
To make sure your listener actually understands what you’re saying, the whole meaning has to fit between breaths. That’s the difference between speaking and writing.<\/b> In writing, we pause at the period. But in real speech, it’s only the question mark that really feels anything like that kind of pause.<\/p>\n
When you’re delivering meaning, it’s like bringing out a cake. It matters as a whole, you don’t serve it pre-sliced. Same with sentences. Don’t chop them up.<\/p>\n
The listener picks up on your mood. Whatever state you are in, that’s what the audience feels too. If the speaker is relaxed, the audience relaxes. That’s why when someone tells you “pull yourself together!” before going on stage – it’s probably the worst advice you can get. Because then the audience ends up listening to someone who’s clearly tense.<\/p>\n
What position should you take in speech, in relation to your listener?<\/h2>\n
Your goal is the motive you’re putting to use. If you didn’t reach the goal, it means your motive wasn’t strong enough.<\/b><\/p>\n
At the core of it, you’re using your brain for someone else: thinking, choosing words and building meaning on their behalf, right in the moment of communication.<\/b><\/p>\n
When you’re thinking for someone else, your full attention shifts to them. In that moment, you’re fully focused on the other person. You’re actively engaging with them, serving them. And for the speaker, it can feel almost like meditation. You sort of dissolve into the other person. They understand you effortlessly – because in that moment, you are them.<\/p>\n
5 things to keep in mind when you speak:<\/b><\/p>\n There can’t be any unfamiliar words in your speech for the listener, they’re black holes. The moment you say one, their attention gets sucked into figuring out what that “black hole” means.<\/p>\n There are always two steps you need to follow: Imagine you’re walking a narrow path at night. Up ahead, there’s a gate, and once you pass through it, the wide road begins. You shine your flashlight on the gate just once, that’s your goal. Then you bring the light back down and watch every single step. Carefully. So you don’t slip. Forget the goal – and you end up in the wrong place. Stop watching your steps – and you fall.<\/p>\n Courage is doing it despite everything because you know your goal. Be courageous in your speech.<\/b><\/p>\n A speaker can only pass on information if they’ve actually processed it, if they’ve understood it and made it their own. If their only goal is to just repeat what they heard, without really owning it, then they can’t truly communicate it.<\/p>\n To control your speech, you need full, conscious control. Otherwise, you’ll slip into autopilot.<\/p>\n Conclusion:<\/b> It’s kind of amazing, no one ever really teaches us how to speak. We just pick it up by watching others. And I’ve always wondered – how is it that some people speak so clearly and you just want to listen to them? But I didn’t have the glossary or the framework to understand what made the difference or how to learn it myself. For the past three years, I’ve been using the New Year holidays to dream and then turn those dreams into a list of goals for the year. This simple process helps me think about the past year, figure out what’s important to me and plan for the year ahead. In the end, it really helps me reach my goals.<\/p>\n The power of this New Year practice comes from one simple idea. All year long, you’re faced with tons of choices: what to do, who to spend time with, what to buy, where to travel, whether to say yes, etc. When you take time to plan your year, it gets easier to spot the ideas and opportunities that really matter to you.<\/b> Plus, it’s a beautiful way to show love and care for yourself.<\/p>\n At the same time, the search for opportunities to make your dreams come true is mostly a subconscious process. The things on your list start to “happen” to you almost on their own. The work I’m sharing here helps increase the chances that luck will be on your side. So, here’s how I dream and turn those dreams into plans.<\/p>\n The method includes the following steps:<\/p>\n Let’s talk terminology. A dream is a desire with no one responsible, no set timeframe and no clear criteria for making it happen. Goals are desires with someone responsible, a set timeframe and clear criteria for success. A plan is a breakdown of the steps needed to reach the goal.<\/p>\n If someone asked you to list 100 dreams, you’d probably slow down around number 20. The brain struggles with abstract tasks, but handles clear ones really well. For example, if you’re asked to come up with 10 dreams related to physical health, then 10 more about friendship and a few in other areas, you’ll reach 100 much faster. To help yourself dream, the first step is to figure out the key areas you want to focus on.<\/p>\n That’s why they say a clearly defined problem is half the solution. Once you know the boundaries and understand what challenge you need to overcome to get the result you want, you’re already halfway there.<\/p>\n To choose the areas you want to dream in, there’s an exercise I recommend doing. Take your time with it and do it thoroughly, it’ll give you a solid foundation for all the work ahead. And if you make it a habit to revisit your dreams each year, you won’t have to redefine your dream areas every time.<\/p>\n Exercise:<\/b> Imagine you’re 90 years old and getting ready to celebrate your birthday. What country are you in? Who are you preparing for the celebration with? Where are you going to mark the occasion? What’s around you? What kind of place is it? What makes it special? Describe it in detail. What emotions are you feeling? What’s happening the moment you walk in? Are any guests already there, or are they arriving later? Who shows up and in what order? It doesn’t matter if everyone is still alive, maybe someone has passed, but you’d still love them to be there. What’s the atmosphere like? Is there a detail that’s meaningful just to you? Describe it. For example, if you love cycling, maybe there’s a photo from the start of the Tour de France hanging on the wall.<\/p>\n And now you’re sitting at the table with your guests. All the people who’ve truly mattered in your life are gathered around you. Picture the table, who’s sitting where? It’s time for the toasts. Who stands up first to speak? Who is this person and what do they say to you? Who goes next? What do they say? What are they grateful for? What do they admire about you? What parts of your life do they highlight? How have you made a difference in their life?<\/p>\n Now, make a list of the people sitting around that table. Go one by one and describe the toasts they give. As you go through this exercise, you’ll start to see a pattern: the things your loved ones mention in their toasts are the parts of life that truly matter to you. These are the areas that align with your values and what you care about most. We’ll use these areas as the foundation for the next steps in working with your dreams. Most people come away from this with about 10 to 15 key life areas.<\/p>\n Here are some example areas that might come up for you: family, work, friends, sports and physical well-being, health, mental health, community involvement, finances, material things, spiritual life, education and personal growth, travel. You can use this list as a starting point for your own work, but I still encourage you to create a personal list. That way, the work you do with your dreams will feel much more meaningful.<\/p>\n Working on any plan starts with mapping out the route. And the most important part of that is figuring out your starting point. The same goes for dreaming within your chosen areas of life, you first need to reflect on where you currently stand in each of them.<\/p>\n Write a few paragraphs about each of your areas. What successes have you had in each one? What steps have you taken to make progress or create positive change? What’s shifted over the past year?<\/p>\n This kind of review can help in a few ways: After you’ve described each area, give it a score from 1 to 10, where 10 means you feel completely satisfied. If you’ve taken your time with the first step, the areas you’ve chosen should align with your core values. That means they’ll likely stay meaningful to you for years to come. These scores will help you track your progress over time and see how things shift from year to year. They’ll also make it easier to spot which areas might deserve more attention in the year ahead.<\/p>\n This is one of the most exciting parts of the process. The best way to approach it is by using a mind-mapping tool. If you’re on a Mac, I recommend MindNode<\/a>, but there are plenty of free browser-based options<\/a>. Of course, a good old sheet of paper and a pen works just as well. In fact, some people find that format even more comfortable.<\/p>\n A mind map lets you keep all your key areas in focus, while also making it easy to jump between them. As you brainstorm dreams in one area, an idea for another might pop up out of nowhere. For each area, I usually end up with from 5 to 20 dreams.<\/p>\n This part of the process is all about turning off your inner critic. Write down any idea that comes to mind. What matters is that you’re dreaming about what you truly want, without worrying about the resources it might take or how long it might take to get there.<\/b><\/p>\n What helped me with this step was breaking it up into a few sessions. It’s easier to get into a creative, relaxed flow that way. Next year, you won’t be starting from scratch as you’ll already have the dream map you made this year, which will make it easier to get into the right mindset.<\/p>\n Some time ago, I was really curious about one question: «How do you tell the difference between dreams that are truly yours and those that are shaped by culture or society?». Here’s the answer I came to – if a dream isn’t really yours, you simply won’t have the energy to follow through on it.<\/b> For whatever reason, you’re choosing not to see what’s underneath it right now. And that’s okay. It’s still something that gives you direction and keeps you moving forward.—)<\/p>\n When a dream isn’t really yours, here’s what usually happens: you focus on it, maybe even set goals around it, but a year later, you realize you haven’t made any real progress. I call those “expired dreams.”<\/p>\n When you look at some of your dreams a year later, you might feel nothing, just delete them. But others might suddenly resonate even more than before. That’s when it’s important to pay attention to how you feel.<\/p>\n One way or another, you’re going to spend your time on something throughout the year. If you don’t have a plan, a lot of your actions will likely be spontaneous or impulsive. And that’s okay, choosing not to focus on your dreams and simply responding to whatever opportunities come your way is still a valid path. It just leads to different results. Whatever you end up with at the end of the year – that’s your true goal, whether you planned for it or not.<\/b><\/p>\n Out of all the dreams in each area, some will naturally resonate more than others. A year has its limits, you can’t chase everything at once. That’s why it’s important to choose a few dreams to turn into actual goals for the year. In my dream map, I bold the ones I want to focus on. Then I make a separate list with just those selected goals. I transfer that list into my planning app Things 3<\/a>, which I also use for daily planning. You can use any planning tool that works for you or just write the list on paper.<\/p>\n Next, take the goals you’ve chosen in each area and assign them a priority. I use a simple star system: ★★★ for something that’s absolutely essential to achieve or at least make serious progress on this year, ★★ for something I’d really like to get done, and ★ for something that would be nice to accomplish if there’s time.<\/p>\n Some goals can be achieved within a year. Others feel big and overwhelming, you’re not even sure where to start. If a goal feels too big, break it down into smaller steps and make a plan. And if you’re not sure what those steps should be, write out a few hypotheses that might help you move closer to it. Try them out and see what works.<\/p>\n The trick is to keep your focus on the big dream, not just the steps in the plan. Working through the steps might not always be exciting. But when you stay connected to where those steps are taking you, you’re much more likely to find the energy to follow through.<\/p>\n Chances are, one area or dream will stand out as especially important to you this year. Turn it into your mission for the year, and place it at the top of your goals list. That way, every time you check in with your list, your mission will be right there keeping your focus on what matters most.<\/p>\n If you’ve made it to this part of the process, you’ve already done the most important work. Here’s the core idea: every year gives you the opportunity to either move closer to your dreams or drift further away. By bringing your dreams into conscious focus, you’re far more likely to recognize the path that can lead you to them.<\/b><\/p>\n For some dreams, it’s not always easy to define what it means to “complete” them. For example, what does it really mean to learn English or become an athlete? One approach is to set measurable goals for the year, something that defines what “done” looks like. But there’s also a helpful trick: shift into “doing mode”. That means making a deal with yourself to work on the dream regularly. For example, studying English twice a week for an hour or going jogging every Saturday.<\/p>\n It’s easy to slip into the mindset of “I’m not okay until I achieve this one thing” and end up putting your life on hold until some made-up condition is met. To avoid that trap, Scott Adams suggests this idea in «How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life<\/a>» : Goals are for losers – focus on systems. For example, instead of telling yourself you’ll be an athlete after you hit some milestone, just decide: Starting today, I’m an athlete. And athletes live active lives consistently. This way, you start living the identity right away, without needing to prove anything first. You don’t need to run a marathon to call yourself an athlete. (By the way, the book itself is pretty mediocre, you’re not missing much if you skip it.)<\/p>\n Once a month, create a recurring event in your calendar to open up your yearly goals and review them. Once a quarter, take some time to reflect on the past three months. Note what you’ve already accomplished and what might need to become a priority for the next three.<\/p>\n A friend of mine also shared that he uses Miro to create a visual representation of his goals. He builds a board filled with images that reflect his plans for the year and revisits it regularly during the year.<\/p>\n\n
\nA. Set the goal, and take a pause for it.
\nB. Then, once you’re moving toward that goal, start paying attention to every step you take.<\/p>\n
\nM., thank you – now I do.<\/p>\n",
"summary": "I took a course called “Speech”. It taught me that the most important part of speaking isn’t when you’re talking – it’s the pauses",
"date_published": "2024-08-25T15:22:31+02:00",
"date_modified": "2026-07-21T11:54:56+02:00",
"tags": [
"attention",
"leadership",
"people",
"speaking"
],
"image": "https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/govorit@2x.jpg",
"_date_published_rfc2822": "Sun, 25 Aug 2024 15:22:31 +0200",
"_rss_guid_is_permalink": "false",
"_rss_guid": "59",
"_e2_data": {
"is_favourite": false,
"links_required": [],
"og_images": [
"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/govorit@2x.jpg"
]
}
},
{
"id": "69",
"url": "https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/?go=all\/how-to-dream-in-a-way-that-makes-dreams-come-true-a-new-years-re\/",
"title": "How to dream in a way that makes dreams come true? A New Year’s resolution guide",
"content_html": "![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/octopus@2x.jpg\")
\n<\/div>\n\n
1. Choosing the key areas of your life<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/d59b6d9f4c7682c1d44209b1788d7b38.jpg\")
\n2. Evaluating the current state of those areas<\/h2>\n
\nA. It gives you a clear sense of what you’ve already accomplished.<\/b> In some areas, you might be pleasantly surprised by the progress you’ve made. In others, it may become clear that it’s time to grow and give them more attention.
\nB. It helps define the boundaries of your dream areas.<\/b> If you started out with general directions, now, by listing real examples, you’ll narrow the focus of each one. Some areas might overlap and that’s totally okay. You’ll just get a better sense of where those overlaps happen.
\nC. As you go through this process, new dreams will likely start to pop up, ones you hadn’t even thought of before.<\/b><\/p>\n3. Dreaming<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/blank@2x.jpg\"){kind=spacer}
\n<\/div>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/fullmindmap@2x.jpg\")
\n4. Turning dreams into goals<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/things3@2x.jpg\")
\n5. Supportive actions during the year.<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/mazurchak.com\/pictures\/360@2x.jpg\")
\n